We Know What We Need
With so little time to look, I was prepared for the flat hunt to be a nightmare, and despite all my visualisations of my perfect home, my initial calls to estate agents looked bleak—not much property available in the area I wanted, not the right time to move, blah blah blah. The first morning I sat with laptop and phone and made the calls, booking a few appointments; in the other room, my sister was doing the same, and it was she who found The One, quite by chance, shouting through to me: ‘Have you called this number yet?’
The flat was the third one we viewed, a small attic conversion with views over the entire city and fields on the horizon. It felt right, but I was still cautious—what if there was something better? As we drove through town in search of coffee, I sat in the passenger seat wringing my hands: ‘I think that might be the one, but I need a sign!’ At that exact moment we drove past a shop that caught my eye—there were mirrors and vintage lace in the window, and chandelier crystals that glittered in the sunlight. I pointed it out to my sister, who turned to me with big eyes: ‘It’s called Susannah!’ she said, laughing, and there was my sign, quite literally, right in the middle of Bath. It appeared I was here already.
Two weeks later I moved the contents of my life into that attic flat, and two and a half years later I am still here, typing these words as the sun begins to set, casting golden rays across my living room floor. Moving to this city changed everything, but it wasn’t just the physical relocation—I offered myself up to possibility, bravely letting go of the ballast that had kept me safe, and opening the windows in my head to let new opportunity to flow in. The first few months were hard, as I adjusted to life away from the safe cocoon I’d built by the sea; I had moments when I questioned my decision and yearned to be safely ‘back home,’ but as I created new routines, I started receiving confirmation that I’d made the right move. New opportunities came my way that I’d never have been open to before: the chance to create and teach a self-awareness class using the tools I’d developed in my healing journey; the inspiration to share the class online; the founding of a creative business that brings me joy every day; an unexpected email from a publisher, and now, a precious book written, ready to send out into the world. All of these creations were possible because I listened to my intuition, because i took a leap into the unknown and trusted that I knew how to navigate my own life.
And that’s the key, really—we know what we need to do, we just have to remember to stop and listen for the clues. I believe we all have unlimited wisdom inside of us that we can draw from whenever we’re feeling lost and uncertain of the next step. If we can get quiet enough and tune out the noise that fills our lives, we can catch a whisper of that knowing—it may come as words, as pictures, as an urge to go somewhere or call someone. It could be a sense of rightness, or a very definite no. I know I’ve got it wrong more times than I’ve got it right, but when I listen to my gut and get brutally honest with myself, life seems to flow with more ease than when I cross my fingers and hope for the best. And this isn’t some woo-woo magic that’s just for the mystically-inclined—this is learning to access the infinitely wise part of ourselves, the part that’s present in every single one of us. And that, to me, is true magic.
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thanks for inviting me to contribute to this series, Louise — so much lovely inspiration here already! yay for intuition 🙂
Susannah, Thanks for sharing your story with us. So sorry to hear about your husband love and peace always be with you.
Inspiring, indeed! Thanks for the opportunity to get to know Susannah. These series of stories are amazing!!! Bravo Louise!!
For me, a “sign” is this kind of connection, when I find that two of my favorite people, women whose art and open, brave hearts inspire me are linked, even if just through this essay. It’s in these ways that the Universe lets me know I am looking in the right places, headed in the right direction. Beautifully written, beautifully shared. Thank you both.